REJECTION IS A MUSCLE
You need to strengthen it.
How can you strengthen it? By being rejected.
Imagine this. You walk into a crowded room, and ask the nearest person for something. Anything. Directions. Change. A stick of gum or a smoke. They tell you no.
You’re devastated. It rocks your self-confidence and you swear you’ll never ask that person for a stick of gum ever again. Clearly you’re an hideous ogre, a menace to society and have caused irreparable harm.
No? You didn’t feel that way?
Then why do you feel that way when you get rejected by someone you asked out? Don’t worry, I know the answer. It’s such a personal thing. You’re putting yourself out there. Your ego is on the line and it hurts to be told that affectively you don’t match up. However they have a thousand reasons to say no, and often not many to say yes. Especially if it’s someone you don’t know. My point is is that it doesn’t need to hurt when rejection happens.
Use rejection as a muscle, and strengthen that thing. Ask people things you wouldn’t normal. Put yourself in position where you get told “no” a lot. Talk to any sales person - don’t worry - they’ll come to you. Ask them how they deal with never ending rejection and hang ups. If it takes a toll or if they even notice it anymore? You’ll probably be surprised by their answer.
For them, it’s just a numbers game. Rejection is just as common to them as breathing or eating a snack.
The more “no’s” you get, the more resilient you will be in the future. Surprisingly, the more confidence it will generate within yourself. You’ll often see people cheer each other on when they state they’re going to ask someone out. Hell, even talk to someone. It’s like watching someone stride into battle in their underpants. Even when rejected, you’ll still applaud them for trying.
If you’re doing it right - you should get yourself more tuned-in to body language. Which will help you navigate consent far easier. If someone’s body language or facial expression changes to the negative when you open your mouth or even approach them, you probably know it’s best to just back off and move on. Some people’s minds can be changed, of course. Often the first impression is a lasting one, but not always the permanent one. It can be changed. But don’t push it. You definitely don’t want to be “that” guy.
You also don’t want to be the person that goes from one person to the next, in clear eye-view of the previous person.
“Did he hit on you, too?” will be the echoed sentence. Before you know it, you’re persona non-grata and your time is definitely up.